Ask Father Mateo
Msg Base: AREA 5 - ASK FATHER CIN ECHO AMDG
Msg No: 292. Mon 5-04-92 18:30 (NO KILL) (MAILED)
From: Father Mateo
To: David Baham
Subject: Sacrament of Matrimony
DB|Dear Father,
| I have a question, you may be able to answer it quickly. I am married,
|but was not married in the Church, I do know that the church believes that
|I'm
|living in sin, since I was not married in the Catholic Church. The question
|is, could you direct me to the scripture in the Bible where it says that I
|have to be married in the Catholic Church, you see my wife is Baptist, and
|feels that we shouldn't have to get remarried in the Church, I have explained
DB|to her that my church will not allow me to fully participant in the Mass.
|If you could show me where it is in the Scripture, it might show her, so
| we may be married in the Church.
| Thank you for your help,
| David Baham
Dear David:
Normally on this conference I do not answer questions about marriage,
preferring to urge the questioner to visit the parish priest.
Marriage is so deeply personal and interpersonal that only a
personal talk, or probably several, can do it justice.
But I can explain for you and your wife the doctrine of marriage.
Thus I do not make any statement especially relative to you or any
other individual. You will still need to talk to a parish priest,
then, after reading this message, I am going to quote heavily from
Leo Trese's chapter on matrimony in his book, "The Faith
Explained". I do so to achieve a brevity and clarity I feel unable
to attain by myself.
"It was as a unique and permanent union that God established marriage
when he gave Eve to Adam in Paradise.... With the coming of Jesus,
(certain) exceptions to the oneness and permanence of marriage were
ended.... Jesus took ... (the) exchange of marital consent between man
and woman, and made the contract a conveyor of grace; He made
marriage a SACRAMENT, The Sacrament of Matrimony among Christians.
Matrimony is defined as "the sacrament by which a baptized man and a
baptized woman bind themselves for life in a lawful marriage and
receive the GRACE to discharge their duties.... Besides the
priesthood, there is no state in life that PLEADS for grace as
demandingly as does marriage."
[Trese ponders here some of the difficulties of married life,
especially raising children, then he continues:]
"In Christ's new plan for mankind, there was a further need for grace
in marriage. It would be upon parents that Jesus must depend for
the continual replenishment of His Mystical Body: that union-in-grace
whereby all baptized Catholics are one in Christ." (See Ephesians
5:21-33.)
Now, I must cut the chase and go on by myself. Both you and your
wife are baptized, and therefore you CAN give each other the
Sacrament of Matrimony; but, in fact, you have not yet done so,
because you as a Catholic cannot give her the Sacrament, except in
union with Christ's Mystical Body, the Church. If you are in union
with the Church as you marry, you thereby liberate her to confer the
Sacrament upon you. This is what Christ and your Church, His Body,
invite you to do.
(To keep my message suitably short, I'll close now and continue at
once in a new message.
God bless you both,
Father Mateo
* OLX 2.1 TD * I will praise you Lord for you have rescued me.
(0xfe) BGQWK 1.0(beta)28 Unregistered Evaluation Copy
Msg Base: AREA 5 - ASK FATHER CIN ECHO AMDG
Msg No: 293. Mon 5-04-92 18:32 (NO KILL) (MAILED)
From: Father Mateo
To: David Baham
Subject: Sacrament of Matrimony
DB|Dear Father,
| I have a question, you may be able to answer it quickly. I am married,
|but was not married in the Church, I do know that the church believes that
|I'm
|living in sin, since I was not married in the Catholic Church. The question
|is, could you direct me to the scripture in the Bible where it says that I
|have to be married in the Catholic Church, you see my wife is Baptist, and
|feels that we shouldn't have to get remarried in the Church, I have explained
DB|to her that my church will not allow me to fully participant in the Mass.
|If
|you could show me where it is in the Scripture, it might show her, so we may
|be married in the Church.
| Thank you for your help,
| David Baham
Dear David,
Since your wife is a Baptist, she does not consider marriage a
sacrament (at least, official Baptist doctrine denies that it is).
Furthermore, I am quite sure she does not use Scripture the way we
do. For Baptists, the Bible alone is the repository of revealed
truth. We do not think this is true, partly because the Bible does
not teach that the Bible alone is our only source of revealed truth.
Therefore, she may be uneasy about Trese's next words:
"It is no wonder that Christ made marriage a sacrament. Just WHEN He
did so, during His public life, we do not know." [Trese lists two
possible times which theologians have proposed: 1) John 2:1-11, and
2) Matthew 19:4-7.] "However, such speculations as to the exact
time at which Jesus made Marriage a sacrament are rather fruitless. It is
enough for us to know, BY THE CONSTANT AND UNBROKEN TRADITION OF THE
CHURCH, that Jesus did so transform the marriage bond." (Emphasis
mine).
(Now, I'm back, David. The above won't satisfy your wife, maybe, as
long as she thinks as a Baptist. But because she is a Baptist who
wishes to be married to a Catholic. I would encourage her to read
on.)
"... The couple who are getting married administer the sacrament of
Matrimony to each other.... The priest cannot administer the
sacrament of Matrimony; only the contracting couple can do that. The
priest is simply the official witness, REPRESENTING CHRIST AND
CHRIST'S CHURCH (emphasis mine) The priest's presence is normally
essential; WITHOUT HIM THERE IS NO SACRAMENT AND NO MARRIAGE. But
but he does not CONFER THE SACRAMENT (emphasis mine).... A Catholic
cannot validly contract marriage except it be in the presence of a
priest.... A Catholic who attempts to enter into marriage before a
minister or a civil magistrate ... is not really married at all. He
commits a grave sin by going through such a ceremony. Two
NON-CATHOLICS who are married by a minister or a civil magistrate ARE
GENUINELY MARRIED.... if both non-Catholics are baptised, their
marriage is a sacrament. For a Catholic, there just isn't any
other way to marry validly except to receive the Sacrament of
Matrimony. When Jesus institutes a sacrament, He requires that His
followers use it."
This has been our faith and our practice for twenty centuries.
Marriage is a sacred and sanctifying bond which we cannot enter upon
apart from the witnessing Church, represented by one's priest or
bishop. Every Christian century bears witness to this. The New
Testament (especially Ephesians and Revelation) teaches that the
marriage union is a symbol of the union of Christ and His people the
Church. This makes marriage itself supremely sacred. Marriage
BELONGS in the Church, God's household. Fifteen years after
Revelation was written, Our St. Ignatius, Bishop of Antioch in Syria
wrote: "All who belong to God and Jesus Christ are with the bishop"
-- i.e., are in union with the Church -- "and all who repent and return
to the unity of the Church, these also belong to God, that they may
live according to Jesus Christ." (Letter to the Philadelphians). "It
is right for men and women, when they marry, to unite themselves with
the consent of the bishop, that the marriage may be according to the
Lord.... Let all things be done to the honor of God. Give heed to
the bishop that God may also give heed to you" (Epistle to Polycarp).
You are both in my prayers. Please go visit and talk to your parish
priest.
Sincerely in Christ,
Father Mateo