Msg Base:  AREA 5  - ASK FATHER            CIN ECHO   AMDG
  Msg No: 230.  Fri  1-17-92 19:48  (NO KILL)  (RECV'D)  (MAILED)
    From: Father Mateo
      To: Mike O'donnell
 Subject: Mass at age 6

+-
| Hello, Father:
|  
|      My wife Barbara Anne and I have twin 6 year old boys (the youngest of
| 6.)  They are in a  Catholic school (Kindergarten.)  The problem comes
| with Mass on Sunday.  In short, they do not like to go!
|  
|      I was brought up, as was Barbara Anne, with the idea that Mass
| attendance on Sunday is not compulsory until the child receives his first
| Penance and Eucharist.  When our first child was born, I decided to
| disagree with that and write my own theology!  My feeling is that the
| child should begin compulsory attendance well before these sacraments so
| that he / she has potential to have a fuller understanding of the
| sacraments.  I further feel that, if a child can go to school, he / she
| can also go to Church.  Thus, my conclusion: In my home, compulsory Mass
| attendance begins as soon as the child enters Kindergarten.  Before that,
| say, at age 2, 3, or 4, the child could be a distraction to the
| worshipping community and therefore the decision to take a child at that
| age depends on the temprament of the child.  I yielded to Barbara Anne on
| this, but still feel that, as of Kindergarten, Mass attendance is
| comppulsory whether the child wants to go or not.
|  
|      The problem is that they fight us.  Brendan is the feistier of the
| two.  I have to put his coat on him - I put his left slieve on as he is
| taking his right one off.  Once I get that done, I have to carry him out,
| open the door (the sliding door of our Caravan) and sit him in the seat.
| Then I bring Kenneth out as Brendan is heading back in!  Usually by the
| time we get them there, they are O.K., although there are times I've had
| to carry Brendan in.
|  
|    One thing that we have done is to try to go more as a family than as
| individuals.  I play at the 4:30 Saturday Mass, which can be a bad time as
| far as Childrens' activities are concerned.  Also, Barbara Anne's 83 year
| old aunt, who is quite feeble physically, prefers this Mass since it is
| located close to her home.  The rest of the family prefers the Sunday noon
| Mass in our other parish location.  I've been therefore going to both.
| Recently, our girls Maureen (9) and Bridget (8) have expressed a
| preference for 4:30 to help Aunt Marie and because, with my doing the
| music they get there early enough to be selected to bring up the gifts.
| This is excellent - their wanting to participate and to help their elderly
| aunt, but then they do not want to go back the next day - especially if it
| is the same presider and same homily!!
|  
|      After this background, two main questions.  First, should we make
| Mass attendance compulsory in Kindergarten, or wait until later (their
| school wants them to be going regularly in First Grade.)  Second, do you
| have any general suggestions on managing Church times (I know *that* one
| is not easy!)
|  
| Mike
|  
| P.S. If anyone else would like to give their opinion on this question, I'd
| like to hear it, but also want to preserve the intent of the echo as being
| strictly to and from Father.  Therefore, I'd be grateful for a message
| sent either by Netmail (Node 033/110) or in the CIN Main echo.)
|  
| Thanks -- Mike
+-[MO=>FM]
 
Dear Mike,
 
The obligation to participate in Sunday and holy day Mass begins when
the child reaches the age of reason AND has completed seven years of
age (emphasis mine; canons 11, 1247).
 
Maureen and Bridget seem to have a sufficient reason not to go to the
family Mass: they want to help their elderly aunt and to take a more
active role in the liturgy the afternoon before.  Yet you may not be
able to afford a babysitter for them if you have them at home.  Perhaps
you should talk to them about this to be sure they understand why you
don't want to leave them at home alone.
 
The key sentence in your description of your Sunday morning battles
with the twins is: "Usually by the time we get them there (to Mass),
they are O.K." But also I feel that your efforts and your persistence
are teaching the boys the supreme importance of Sunday worship.  Every
kid should have a father like you.  Hang in there, please.
 
I'm glad you use the word "Mass" instead of the various fatheaded
circumlocutions now in vogue.  Now if I could hornswoggle you into
saying "celebrant" instead of "presider" and "the other people in
church" instead of "the worshipping community", I would invite you to
take over this column!
 
                                God bless you and your family,
 
                                Father Mateo